Louie's Coat of Many Colours

Me and my new coat

 

Look at this! Me modelling my new coat. Waddya think guys? Is this the business or what. Looking good for the pooch about town.

If I'm totally honest though, and I don't want to upset my mate Kev who chose it for me, I'm not too keen. Don't get me wrong I know I look suave and sophisticated in it, cos I am very suave but.......well I kind of feel like I'm wrapped in a damn sleeping bag. Hell, how do you even walk in one of these things.

So it arrived Saturday, the postie brought it to our door. It was raining so an ideal day to be gifted a rain coat. First the Missus tried to put it on. For a woman she's pretty useless at this kind of thing. I think maybe the person who designed it doesn't really understand us canine types. It actually has two leg holes at the front. Well not being in the habit of wearing human type clothes I don't understand what the hell is going on really. The Missus sat me on the sofa and tried putting one of my legs through the hole. While she was attempting to put the other leg through I slipped the first leg back out of the first hole. Well I was only trying to help. She then declared the coat stupid and my mate Kev put it on ( he doesn't take any messin'). He zipped it up and stood looking admiringly at me.

This feels very weird, I was actually scared to move. It felt funny and made me stand with my back legs wide apart. I'm not really sure why I stood like that and I was very fearful of actually walking in it. I was however tempted to wobble along when a doggie biscuit was waved tantalisingly at the kitchen door. The coat is too bloody long I think. There is no room for my normally erect curly little piggy tail to stand up, I use it for balance don't you know and it doesn't work quite the same when it has to point downwards and straight.

But much worse, oh my this is soooo embarrassing - it was the Missus who noticed. I feel myself blushing as I relate this ....ahem....issue. This coat wraps all around including my um undercarriage. To quote The Missus in a very loud insensitive manner I might add "How's he meant to wee? It covers his willy"

Oh my goodness me, there's no need to shout it from the rooftops, but yes she does have a point, the silly designer obviously made this coat with the ladies in mind. Haha I thought, well that's that then, I won't be wearing that again. But not so, "it'll be OK" said Kev, "for what it cost I'll just cut a bit off and sew it, it'll be right".

Cut a bit off and sew it! Mon dieu, I do hope he was talking about the coat and not my manly bits 😱

So that was Saturday and this is Sunday evening. The saga of the Coat of Many Colours to be continued... I have escaped wearing it yet, I'll be sure to let you know if it makes a reappearance.

 Woof for now Lou xx 🐕